Vandy Duffy
Director of Religious Education
First Unitarian Society of Exeter, NH
February 2004

Ah, we have so many choices in life. How do we choose? You would think more choices would make us happier... yet as a recent Boston Globe article points out they don’t.

With so many choices we begin to get the feeling that there is some how an ultimate “right” choice and so we keep choosing hoping to find it. Since there really isn’t a “right” choice we just become more and more unhappy looking for something that doesn’t exist. What’s the best new car on the market, the best new investment plan, the best new method to teach piano to children?

People like to refer to times gone past as the time when things were simpler. When there were fewer choices choosing was simpler. We still need to make many of the same choices we’ve needed to in the past, these choices aren’t gone, the choosing process seems to be more complicated. We have more options to choose from but the same amount of time in a day. Helping our children sort through their choices is so very important in this information age.

Here are some suggestions to help get started: Sit down as a family and come up with a “family mission statement.” What is of the utmost importance to family members, what makes them feel happiest with their life? Brainstorm a list, “Doing well in sports,” “spending time with the family,” “spending time with friends.” Try to narrow big categories, which sport? which friends?
Next, try to find three themes that you can all agree upon. Make these three things your family mission statement, “As a family it is important to us to…” When decisions come up for family members weigh the choices against the family mission statement, how do things fit?

This process helps get those sometimes unspoken family values out in the open, it names them. This helps children form their own personal mission statement based on family values. This “mission” statement can help narrow down the choices and make life simpler, it can also help our children sort out what is truly important.

Peace, Vandy